Holidays

"Ok, let's just skip over all that 'whose turkey was moister' bullshit. What do we talk about first, sex or cancer?"

"And you just don't duck with badass birches like us."

"Hey, is ducking really a word? Or just something autocorrect made up?"

"It's a word. Like when you having to avoid something thrown at you, you're ducking."

"Oh! Yeah! I kept thinking...
It has nothing at all to do with Ducks."

"No. Nor that reality show with the guys with the hideous beards."

"When someone tells you they are going to be a bad boyfriend, you should believe them."

Reality check...

"Somehow or another I'd filed the poop conversation under "worldly"."

"Someday you will have to explain to me your filing system."

"Are you still there?... Do you need me to come untie you? If it's one of those Japanese knots I'm just bringing weed cutters."